The new Plan A was to begin my journey through domestic adoption as a single mother. I had to gather financial documents, write two autobiographies, have 4 friends write reference letters on my behalf, take classes on adoption, and have 2 visits by a social worker to my home. This took 4 months and by March 2011 I was ready. I also had to find an agency to sign with to find my baby.
I found a facilitator in California that came highly recommended. Big mistake. After sending a large portion of my money, I was then informed that it would take longer than the time frame I was originally quoted and I might have to pay to extend my contract. WHAT???? I was hurt and felt misled. The facilitator also never contacted me unless I contacted them and the quarterly progress reports I was promised never arrived. The one thing they did do was help me make a profile book to show potential birth mothers.
So I networked on my own. I found and signed with two referral services, another adoption agency with no up front fees, and checked AdoptionSituations.com daily to view available adoption situations. The months crawled by with a few false starts on potential matches. And then in May, a posting appeared on the AdoptionSituations website. An agency in Texas needed a paper ready family for an already born baby girl. Could this be it? My stomach was in knots as I contacted the agency.
Unfortunately, dozens of families contacted them as well and it took weeks before I heard from them with their information packet. By that time, the little girl was already matched. I had written them off when I received an e-mail and a phone call from this agency. They had several birth mothers they were trying to match, and the head of the agency was a single mother by choice and a lawyer, which meant legal and finalization fees were included. Oh, and one of their mothers was due in a month with a baby boy.
I immediately asked about that situation, only to find out that one of their contracted families had also been contacted about him. They had first rights to this baby, as they had been waiting for a baby for quite a while. I needed to wait until this family made their decision. It was the longest wait of my life.